Who Needs a Companion?

 Who needs a Companion?

We all do. Humans are social animals. We subconsciously crave companionship. What we can't get from our fellow humans, we garner from our "pets". But, in reality, our "pets" are defined in terms of cats and dogs. It's hard to cuddle up to an iguana, a spider, or a snake.

Humans domesticated dogs thousands of years ago. We did it by breeding dogs into a domesticity where they never grow up: they spend their entire life as dependent puppies. Dogs have been bred to instinctively understand that humans are, in general, their source of what they need to survive: shelter, food, and, yes, companionship. Dogs are also social animals, when "gone feral", they revert to type. They're still puppies, but they bond together in social packs.

Cats, on the other hand, slide through our grasp, go through puberty and "matriculate" into full cathood. They are mature animals. As such, they are not as dependent on humans for survival. Cats are solitary, successful hunters. They bond to mate, to have offspring, but in general feral cats do not run in packs.

Both "domestic" cats and dogs understand that they can not open cans of pet food, much less go out and buy them. They are dependent on us to provide for their comfort. Dogs, being big puppies, exploit this feature more than cats. Dogs will do anything to please us, so we will continue to feed and shelter them. Cats, not so much.

With this as background, let's consider how we select a pet.

To create a successful partnership, obtain a pet as a successful companion, there are some inflexible rules that most of us are oblivious of.

To successfully obtain a companion, in most cases, we do it all wrong. We go into a pet store and we pick what we thinks is the cutest, or cuddliest, or friskiest, or some other criterion that we think will make the animal a suitable companion.

I will give you an uncomfortable rule: Don't select the animal. Let the animal select you!

A number of years ago, I was talking to a good friend of ours that had just returned from an animal rescue shelter with her newly acquired dog. It was a "reclaimed" greyhound. Sad to say, it looked pretty ratty. Its mottled coat of many colors and shades, its loping gait, its fear of stairs, all made it seem to be an unlikely companion candidate.

Boy, I'd never chosen THAT dog!

But my friend explained. When she went to the animal rescue center, she was advised to "just walk through the facility and look at all the dogs. The ones that would be successful companions will select you!" And so it was. As she walked amongst the dogs, most of them either ignored her, or politely stepped aside without looking at her. Only this one dog began to follow her around. It became obvious after a while that this dog "fancied" her and wanted to join with her as her companion. So, she took the shelter's advice and the two immediately bonded. As she said, it didn't matter how the dog looked, or what quirks the dog had. It was obvious from the start that the dog wanted to be her companion and wanted her to be his.

We ran into each other a few years later. My friend admitted that this "rescue" dog was the best companion that she ever had. It was obedient, and went out of its way to please her. She was very pleased with "her" choice.

I've found that the same technique works for mature cats (I'm partial to cats - they are more independent than dogs, and are easier for me to take care of).

After our Russian Blue of twenty-two years finally succumbed, we decided to try a Bengal cat. Bengals are supposed to love water, and that made us curious. So we went to a well-renowned cattery, and I merely walked through the facility. Most of cats ignored me. Some politely deferred to me, but weren't really interested. One, however, began following me around. When I sat down, the cat jumped up on the seat beside me. I tentatively reached out my hand to pet her. As I reached out, she sniffed my hand, then immediately got up and rubbed vigorously on my hand and arm. Then it jumped into my lap! I knew right then and there that this was the companion for me. What amazed me was that the cat was polite to my wife, but in the main, ignored her! But she also found a Bengal that really liked her. So we went home with a pair of Bengal cats. They are with us to this very day: one fawns over me, and the other never leaves my wife's side! As an aside, during the day when we're working, the two cats enjoy each other's company. They play together, share patches of sunlight, and in general, entertain each other. That keeps them young (older, single cats become bored, so they spend most of their days, sleeping. Not these two!)